The greatest American film ever made, outside of Meatballs, is The Dead Don’t Die (2019), a talkie that doesn’t just break the fourth wall, but just demolishes it, pounds the remains into a fine powder, adds water, and then sculpts the clay into a statue of a zombified “Thinker” scratching its head in puzzlement, surrounded by broken film equipment, countless rewritten scripts, with a plaque that reads, “Zany Zombie Zeitgeist.”
Or something like that. I don’t know. Ask Jim, the dick.
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
"Centerville: Come for the Coffee; Stay for the Undead!"
Tracks
Eternal Twilight
Deadpan Blues
Moonlit Apocalypse
Whispers in the Dark
Moonlit Apocalypse
The Centerville Waltz
Zombies Don’t Cry
Fuel for the Fire
Last Call at the Local
Blood on the Boulevard
Night of the Dead
Lost in the Haze
Ghosts of Centerville
Final Dawn
Graveyard Shift (Ode to Hermit Bob)
Bonus Tracks
Ah, Star Wars. That’s good fiction. (Ode to Kylo Ren)
Coffee
Did you just call me Frodo?
Fuck Farmer Miller!
Fucking trespassers! Kiss your asses goodbye!
Gee, Mindy, I’m not sure I can say that.
Guitar. Guitar.
Holy shit! Did she just say Chardonnay?
I can just lie down in that other cell next to old Mallory. Oh, God.
I guess all them ghost people plumb lost their goddamn souls.
I sleep like a baby. Except when I know there’s a corpse waiting for me at work.
Just accumulating local information.
Might as well be Amish.
Nah, I can’t drink any more of that stuff. It’s too damn black for me.
She’s strange. She’s Scottish.
Shut up, Ronnie. No, you shut up.
So, Frank, what makes you so sure it’s Hermit Bob who stole your chicken?
That’s a shame. I had them looking so bonny.
The Dead Don’t Die. I love this song.
This is undead, reanimated, full on flesh-eating zombie shit, no question.
Up your hole with a wooden pole, Cliff.
What a dick!
What, are we improvising here?
Yuck!
P.S. Citizens and/or zombies of Centerville, we’re looking for talent, human and undead (we’re radically Inclusive). Interested?
Credits
Track 12 – Blood-curdling Scream Sound Effect from Pixabay